“There is a subtext to this whole business. The firestorm of reactions to Salaita…is indicative of a continuing determination to police and regulate the nature of the resistance offered by those who speak up on behalf of the traditionally subjugated.”
technology
I have always been a nervous, anxious sort of person. When I was an undergrad, I helped myself and mitigated my inclination by reciting the Bene Gesserit litany from Frank Herbert’s Dune. It helped tremendously with exams and deadlines. The image above states the litany in its entirety. Here it is again:
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Lately, I have much to be fearful and anxious about. I imagine things will be all right. Eventually. At this moment, I’ve also come to fear taking a stand, claiming an opinion, having feelings. Speaking is definitely risky. But, as the Bene Gesserit order wisely described, silence motivated by fear brings total obliteration. Speaking, choosing a side, having feelings. These are all costly. So is remaining silent. Choosing not to choose, while it can be defended, also exacts a price. And allows others to choose sides on our behalf. The Bene Gesserit litany reminds us to face our fears. Great sentiments, but still, they are easier said than done. Ultimately, the choice comes down to this: of all the consequences before me, which ones can I live with? And which ones will annihilate the best parts of me? The answers to these questions are often the ones that lead me to what I do. Friends and family who know me best understand and witness first-hand the agony I go through.
In the spirit of courageous action despite fearfulness, I have some questions about the Salaita affair that I’ve been thinking about these last few days. From my vantage point as a distance education graduate student, and one who very much cares about equity and inclusion, I am wondering about the politics that must be going on at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign’s upper administration. The identity of Chancellor Wise as an Asian American woman in a position of great power at an R1 academic institution in the United States has not slipped my notice. In fact, it has given me pause when expressing my dismay and any criticism of the damaging decision to un-hire Dr. Salaita. Is there a particular reason why Chancellor Wise is carrying the burden of this unpopular decision? Why isn’t UIUC President Dr. Bob Easter, who is a step higher in the UIUC organization chart, the bearer of this news? Is this a simple matter of the decision and burden belonging solely to the Chancellor’s Office? Even so, does the UIUC President’s Office have a say? Or is something else going on? If the Office of the UIUC President does hold an official opinion, what could that be? Is it something we could expect to be revealed soon?
In thinking through how one could use a critical race theory lens on these events at UIUC, the identity politics of the actors involved are crucial for greater understanding and illumination. And it seems that there are more actors at play in the Salaita affair than we first realize.
I do think that the events surrounding Salaita and UIUC’s upper administration are inciting fear and anxiety among academics, students, and higher education staff. Those feelings are making many of us do things that are not in keeping with our better selves. I do hope we find a way beyond the fear and silence. No matter what you may think of the politics surrounding the events at UIUC, I urge you, dear friends, to be brave. Find and use your voice. Remember: Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
LIS Practitioners and Scholars Support Steven Salaita | Sarah T. Roberts | The Illusion of Volition.
“As Library and Information Science (LIS) practitioners, students and scholars, we are committed to the principles of our field: to the free access to and flow of information and to the intellectual freedom of all. We are shocked and dismayed by the unilateral decision on the part of Chancellor Phyllis Wise and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Board of Trustees to rescind the employment of Dr. Steven Salaita based on his speech in social media.”
Twitter Responds To Santa Barbara Shootings With #YesAllWomen Hashtag.
Because my daughters will grow up to be women #YesAllWomen
I just returned home from #IAS14. And, to put it in the words of a person I greatly admire, yes, I feel like I’ve found my tribe. I left feeling like I was so loved and appreciated, that I actually deserved to be loved and appreciated, that I made a difference. I felt my love and longing returned with equal ardor. Now, my questions are…
Dear Librarianship,
Close your eyes.
Give me your hand, Darling.
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
I believe it’s meant to be, Darling.
I watch you when you are sleeping.
You belong with me.
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Say my name,
Sun shines through the rain.
A whole life, so lonely,
And then you come and ease the pain.
I don’t want to lose this feeling.
Is this burning an eternal flame?
~Melissa
From the bog Conditionally Accepted, post “Blogging For (A) Change” by Dr. Eric Anthony Grollman
Conditionally Accepted | Who Let An Activist In Here?!.
“In a way, this reflected what I would call “slow-boil activism.” I have certainly encountered a number of academics who push gently, evenly, and slowly so that they may advance to a more powerful position. My own critique of this is how much one must bite their tongue and compromise to stay on this path, and that waiting to make a big difference in 5, 10, or 20 years is a gamble on time not promised to you. But, I would be a hypocrite to disparage this approach because, in many ways, I am enacting this strategy on my own career.”
Some of my random thoughts: Surviving in the belly of a very hostile beast is not easy. Thanks for the tough love. But what I really need is the gentle kind.
Should I have the fortune and enough fortitude to continue with my graduate studies, it would be because of my desire to make a difference in the lives of people living in the margins. Oh, helping advance the field would be great, too, but really, it’s optional. Right now, I am glad to do what I can, in support of matters that are of gravest importance to me.
Things crystallized for me, as an academic-librarian-wannabe-scholar-wannabe-activist, after reading Michelle Munyikwa‘s post, “Be Vital. Be Involved.” She writes of a woman’s plight to seek legal justice for her son, who has been jailed. She attempted to contact a number of scholars of mass incarceration, but came up with nothing.
For her, this was a source of outrage and shock. How could no one have responded to her? What were we here for, studying this stuff, if we aren’t going to help community members as they need it?
Many librarians believe in, are committed to the spirit and letter of service to their communities. I know many believe in, are committed to, and can articulate answers to the questions posed by the woman in Munyikwa’s post (conveniently quoted above).
While having these questions answered and settled allow us to do the work necessary to be of service, I strongly suggest we never, ever, ever stop asking these questions. Failing to do so regularly puts us on the very precarious path towards further irrelevance. As a friend of mine whom I greatly admire recently said to me, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
Pax.
ALAMW14 @Philly.
I do my best to stay relevant and on-top of my librarian duties by being active in the work of librarian and information professional organizations. In January 2014, I attended the American Library Association’s Midwinter Meeting in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (a.k.a. ALAMW14). I was there from Saturday, January 26 to Monday, January 27. They say, as you become more seasoned with professional conference attendance, you’ll only attend the days when you absolutely need to be in attendance. I’m finding this to be true for me.
It was cold. And very slippery with ice and snow. Considering how much of a, uh, brave, fearless person I am when it comes to pain and injury, I was my active, bubbly, inquisitive self, undaunted by fear and discomfort (I’m being sarcastic here).
I am learning that the best part of attending these professional conferences isn’t the unpaid, often-invisible work. The best parts are the people. I’ve come to be surrounded by really, really, really awesome librarians. They’re awesome because I like them and (oh dear gawd) they like me back. They bring out a part of me that is hidden most of the time, the part that is truly brave and assertive. Such is the power of the social.
At the risk of embarrassing them publicly on the interwebz, I can’t overestimate how much this group of conference peeps mean to me. It bums me out that we only get to see each other once or twice a year. But I think about them a lot, smile at their accomplishments, and shed tears at their grief, as if these were my own. For reals. No foolin. Thanks to social media, we continue our long-distance relationships between our conference-based f2f meetings.
Me @ ALAMW14. Photo credit: Lessa Kanani’opua Pelayo-Lozada.
Then there are the new friends that I make through these professional organizations. I may not know them as well as these other friends I have made through ALA. Not yet. Not right now. I expect this to change considerably. Social media has made that possible, too.
IA Summit 2014 @ San Diego, California
As I write this post, I am at the Information Architecture Summit 2014, being held at San Diego, California’s Sheraton San Diego Hotel & Marina. I had volunteered to be a graduate student assistant for the conference, so I am able to attend at a lower cost. In exchange for some time, attention, and effort, I am able to indulge (just a little bit) my info-geek-y tendencies (delusions?). I’ll be here from March 26 to March 30, keeping tabs of the Podcasting track. I’ll know more about my assignment later today, at the conference volunteer orientation. Thanks, ASIS&T!
IASummit14 swag
Unlike ALA, I don’t know anyone at IA Summit. I’m here because I was impressed by the speaker line-up (i.e., mostly Irene Au and Peter Morville). I wanted to hear them speak in person. And the conference is within driving distance from my house.
So, when the call came out for IA Summit 2014 volunteers, I said to myself, “Why not?” I didn’t think I’d get in. All I know is that I wanted to go. And I could go, if I was chosen. If I didn’t get chosen, it wasn’t Earth-shatteringly disappointing. I am already fully invested in ALA, my ALA friends, and the work we do together on behalf of the American Library Association and its members.
Now I’m here. Everything’s just icing. Drinks on Riot Games during the Opening Reception? Heck, yeah. Thank you!
As I will be attending ALA Annual 2014 in Las Vegas, Nevada this summer, in late June, and seeing my beloved ALA friends again, IA Summit 2014 is great practice for the networking and schmoozing (i.e., drinking and eating) that I will undoubtedly be doing. Since I have a very strong homebody streak, I could really stand to increase my capacity (while maintaining my t2 diabetes lifestyle).
Rage Face: A common occurrence on the internet.
“Change is messy. It’s angry. It’s uncomfortable. It’s full of angry people saying angry things, because they’ve been disrespected and forgotten again and again and again and again, and they’re tired of being fucking nice because it makes you uncomfortable if they act in any way that is not deferential or subservient to you and your worldview.”
I feel this quite a bit. More often lately than previously. But I’d also like to draw a distinction between being civil and being nice. I want to remain both. But if I must choose, I’d rather be civil.
Tears For Fears. “Pale Shelter,” The Hurting. 1983.
Don’t even try to take away my rage by playing up my other emotions, like guilt, shame, and embarrassment. I am enraged, not just because I’ve been repeatedly dissed. I have it because my basic humanity is too-often denied for the convenience and comfort of those with more power than me. Taking my rage away just stresses my continuing dehumanization. I have good reasons to be this upset and angry. So don’t even try to placate me. Just because I have these fires in my chest, it doesn’t mean that I don’t see the value and desirability of “letting it all go,” seeking hope and positivity. Rage fuels and motivates me. It sparks the embers in my belly and keeps me moving forward. I so wish my fuel was something else entirely, but I am a product of my environment, after all. I hold my rage and hope in constant tension.
I also want to work for peace, harmony, and healing. But not at the expense of the dignity I deserve as a human being. And since my human dignity should not impede another’s, I really fail to see the problem…more on this later…
I am a human being.
Life of Brian: “He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”
A new-hire messiah speaks | Gavia Libraria.
Have you isolated, understaffed, undersupported, and given your new librarian enough disparate responsibilities to ensure she’ll never make progress at one without another falling behind? Congratulations! It’s now time to deny your librarian’s promotion due to “lack of progress” and start over! After all, there’s plenty more where she came from!
Please. No more of this. It hurts us all.
It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens by dana boyd
A dana boyd gem: “I thought, what could I do that would provoke this audience to think? I saw it as a political platform; not big P but small p. I wanted to use this opportunity to challenge norms inside tech industry. I decided to take on the underlying values and beliefs in tech industry regarding privacy because my research was showing that the rhetoric being espoused was naïve. My topic was not surprising for academics, but it was for practitioners.”
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